The act of transparency.I was talking to another mom the other day at our boys' basketball game.
And she mentioned how women, especially women at church, never really communicate with each other very well, how things are going with each other.
And that it's comforting and affirming to know when we share areas of struggle.
So I thought...If I am going to follow through with my word.
And commit to it for 2012.
Then I should tell you.
That after writing this post.
And using "grand" as a descriptive word for my marriage.
Days of miscommunication, frustration, exasperation and such would ensue.
Because such is the law of boasting.
Or, over confidence in any given area at any given time.
And while I do believe that I have a great marriage.
Bordering on grand.
In that....I have matured enough to accept my husband....and myself....as real people with real issues.
Sometimes marriage is just......
A lot.of.hard.work.
Not always fun nor easy.
Humble pie, anyone?
13 comments:
Would it be bad to say I agree with the other mom? I mean sometimes its just easier to say "I'm doing good" than to tell someone how you REALLY feel.
I hope and pray that this week is a better week for you!
Ashley~
All women work very hard to not let other women see their short comings.
Sometimes too hard.
What we need to really work hard on is....authenticity.
Sometimes the best thing we can do for each other is share how we do REALLY feel. ;o)
Hope you have a good week, too.
XO
I'll have a slice of that humble pie with you my friend! :-) It is sad but true that even in the place where we should be the most open and transparent we tend to gloss over things. Our community group has really tackled that issue this year and it has been incredible to see what has unfolded as folks have opened up and shared what is really going on. I always feel like I need to be a certain way for other people (or that they expect me to be a certain way)....and that is easier than just sharing how I'm really doing. So, I'm gonna jump on the transparent bandwagon with you my friend and pray that God will use it to draw others closer to Him!:-)
Vanessa
Vanessa~ I saved a slice for you. ;o)
I know what you mean about expectations as well. And....If I'm being honest here. then I will say at times, I am guilty of expecting certain behaviors from certain people, too.
Thanks for your insight and your comment!
XO
Amen sister! I felt a twinge of this after my Simply Sunday post. While that was a defining moment of goodness and grace in our marriage, I am sure the next day we yelled at each other about something trivial.
Transparency...so very good, so very difficult.
Heather
Heather~ Wow! Both sisters in one day! Either transparency strikes accord or marriage woes... ;o)
Your post was good. Maybe we should share a series on trust.
Thanks for commenting!
Happy Monday!
Heather~ I meant a CORD. Strikes a cord.
Good grief!
My girlfriend and I were just talking about this the other night- transparency! We were talking about how we should be who we truly are to all people if that makes any sense in how I put that. Blessings to you my friend!!
Cara~ Then...here's to all of us (raises my coffee cup) may we all do so much better in this area!
Love ya!
I'll take a slice of that pie. I agree as christian women we tend to hide the hard stuff. We think because we are christians that we better have it all together or someone is going to think we are total failures. We are our own worst critics!
So I'm standin' with you on the whole transparency thing and may I throw in the word vulnerable?! We need to be vulnerable... If we aren't then we just look self sufficient and perfect.
AND since I am writing a novel here in your comment section, I must say I'm with you on the marriage thing. It can be so hard and it requires a lot of work and commitment. Yesterday, I'd say my marriage was rocky. I seriously had issues (PMS) everything he did or said yesterday was like nails on a chalkboard. I think I prayed too many times...LORD help me keep my mouth shut!
Today, Praise God, its better. My hormones must have balanced out. At least that's what I'm claiming anyway! :)
I eat it all the time!:) Life is real and it is so refreshing to see others be honest. What a blessing it is know that we all struggle and can be there for each other.
Jenn~ So true. "We" do think we should have it all together.
And....so many times, during the course of marriage, there is an ebb and flow. And I thinks it's so important for women to know, that it's a normal part of growing with your spouse.
And sometimes...the best thing...is to keep our mouth shut. ;o)
Lecia~ Refreshing and a blessing!
Thanks to you both for commenting!
XO
Kristin
Never let someone tell you that marriage is a 50-50 composition. There are many days when it is 100 - 0. And that does not mean that you and your spouse get an equal opportunity at having 100% You may never get the 100%.
But, marriage is not a game.
Have you ever read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus?" Actually, it's written by a man, which is really rather amusing.
But he seems to capture the essence of the difference in thinking between men and women.
I noticed in many relationships that men seem to think that women are "moody" and that they'll get over it. Far be it from a man to admit that the reason the woman is moody is because of something the man has done! Men have a tendency to blame things on hormones. I find this to be quite insulting, personally.
As great as a relationship as I have with my husband, there are many days when I roll my eyes in frustration. Even after 31 years, he still can't figure out why I get irked when he makes certain comments. Or when he doesn't listen, which is way too often.
Then, it's my fault that he didn't get what I said because I talk fast. Yes, I do talk fast, but everyone else seems to understand me perfectly.
I certainly don't need to give you a list of what's wrong with men, do I?
My point here is, that even though my husband can drive me nuts after 31 years of marriage, in my mind, he is grand.
He is my life partner and I'm lucky to have found him.
And, I have the strong feeling that you feel the same way about your husband as well!
No need for humble pie, Kristin. We all live these moments.
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