Did you hear me, boys?Maybe I should say it louder.
TO HECK WITH MY LIST!
I am staging a mutiny.
I tell myself every day.That I can do it all.
I can love you.
Guide you.
Protect you.
Teach you.
Treasure you.
And still accomplish the 7023 things on my to do list.But the truth is.
I can not.
At least..... not very well.
I have done a fantastic job of stripping away the busy outside of our home.But, what about the inside?
Is it possible, that I can be too busy here, in our home, in the midst of raising you?
I think it is.In fact, I know it is.
Because I find the words......
"Just a minute.Hang on.
Hold on a second.
Wait.
I'll be there soon.
I'm coming....."
Falling from my lips....Oh so much lately.
And I just want you boys to know.That you ARE more than an item on my list of "to do's".
And that while it's very important to manage our home.Feed you right.
Try and serve others.
Teach you how to read and write.
And so on, and so on, and so on.....
What I really want you to know.Really.
Really.
Really.
Is that I have been here before.Watched your older sister and older brother disappear into the world of teenager's and grown ups.
And it happened at super sonic speed.
Faster than the speed of light or the speed of sound.
That..... before I knew it.Little chubby fingers no longer twirled my hair or patted my cheeks.
Soft and squishy-wet kisses were replaced by a barely there hug.
Nobody was needed to linger at bed time.
Cuddle.
Read the same story for the 982nd time.
There would be no more tugs on the blanket in the middle of the night.
No more reaching for my hand.
No more begging for someone to be held or carried.
No more...."watch me, watch me, watch me, mama."
No more care free walks and hide and go seek.
And hot chocolate with extra marshmallows was replaced by mocha's and a wave, as they stepped out the door into the world of big boys and big girls.
So, here is what I am proposing to you, my beautiful, beautiful boys.I will leave the dishes in the sink to "soak" longer.
I will ignore the dust bunnies.
I will shush the washing machine.
I will close my eyes when I walk by the bathrooms that need cleaned....again.
And pretend that I don't see the accumulation of dust, crumbs and fingerprints.
I will wait until later.
Later to work on that never ending list.
You know, the one that if I can just have a few more minutes...a little more time.
It may finally get done.
Because here's the thing.
All of that time.
To finish all of those things.
That always needs doing.
Takes away from you.
And really.
I have never, ever met someone who said.....
"I wish I would have spent more time on my list and way less time with my kids."
Or
"I am so glad that my house was so clean and beautiful, meals were perfection, others were served first, we were so busy, and that I never had enough time with my children."
Funny, isn't it?
Or maybe....just sad.
I want to watch you run.
I want to watch you skip a thousand rocks into the pond.
I want to watch your tiny hands and your big boy hands gather the "perfect" rocks for skipping.
Or....just for saving because you think they are cool, sparkly, pretty....
Especially....because those hands will transform into the hands of men, before my very eyes.
I want to kiss your freckled noses a million times.
And then a million more.
I want to look deeply, deeply into chocolate brown eyes and sparkling sweet smiles.
The kind that are given so freely and effortlessly.
I want to know you.
I take that back.
These are not things that I want.
These are things I need.And even if I managed to somehow capture every single moment.
Every last one of them.
I fear.....I would still want more.
More.
More.
More.
And that's what I am saying, boys.You are worth more than a completed list.
A clean home.
A five course meal.
All of the "needs" out there.
A blog post.
The perfect curriculum.And teaching it all to perfection just like so and so does.
Mama has been spending way too much time on other things.Needless things.
Worrying things.
And lost track of time and priorities......Just a bit.
But....On our walk.
I was reminded.
Of you.And our time.
And how every day I prayed for you.Begged for you.
Desired you.
Needed you.
And how I would always, always, always......Do my best to honor that gift.
Which is.....You.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Love, Mama.
16 comments:
Oh My Goodness! Just what I needed this morning!
Very well said! Beautifully said!
Now I must dry my eyes and hug my kids!
~ Kirsji ~
This was a beautiful post. I really enjoyed it!
Big Hugs,
Tricia
AMEN!
Can I just say.....THAT was BEAUTIFUL. You go Momma!! Love those freckles, hug those boys, get another kiss, cuddle a bit longer, linger on that walk and remember it all!
You're right....you will want more.
You bless me friend~ Cinnamon
Oh, my. Did you know these very things have been tugging on my heart this week???
You said it all so beautifully!
We Mamas need to be reminded of this all the time..it's too easy to get distracted (or feel guilty) by those dust bunnies.
Love those chocolate brown eyes.
Blessings to you!
♥ Collette
Oh. My. Goodness.
I feel like printing this post and hanging it on my refrigerator! Seriously. Absolutely beautiful and absolutely true. It's so simple...so why is it so hard to remember in the day to day busyness? My kids have been so understanding and patient with me as I'm being pulled in so many different directions. I want them to know that they're more than my list and responsibilities. I think we're due for a walk ;)
Beautiful post! You're also wonderfully talented at taking photographs!
SO TRUE!!!! My oldest is 12 now and not quite grown yet. I know it is coming way too fast. But when he and his sister and little brother were little, I did not savor the minutes like I do with my babies today. I was in such a hurry for them to crawl, walk, talk, run, and so on. I was in a hurry to move with life. I do not remember being SO present in the moment like I do now with my last three babies. I LOVE to just hold Benji's little, chubby hands and stare at them and touch them. I love to watch them play. As much as I am reminding my two little girls to clean up after themselves, I love to see their little doll games they were playing left out all set up knowing they were creating sweet memories. I now understand what it means to savor the minutes and cherish these gifts. I still do not always do it like I should. But I then stop and remember what matters most. I love how my 12 year old comes to me and we get into deep conversations. He is figuring out life. And I love feeding my kids the Word and teaching them about our Lord because truly the most important thing is that they know Him and live for Him. Okay, I will stop rambling now. I LOVE this reminder Kristin of what truly matters. As I type this I can hear my kiddos' voices echoing outside; I think I will go play with them and help them make creations with their doodles that they are building with. xoxo
Beautiful . . . .tearing at my heart strings.
~Christine
OK, am I the only one who was brought to tears by this?
Perhaps I'm the only one following your blog posts whose children are all grown. How right you are about the time going by so fast.
And about the list.....Fortunately, I never made one in the new year. Nor did I make any resolutions. That's a good thing, too, because my life this past month has been one crazy adventure, none of which was planned on my part.
And, although I find myself needing a list just to remember things, following one for life's every day events is not on my agenda, and I'm glad to see that it isn't on your's either.
A grocery list might not be a bad idea, though :)
Great post, Kristin
my gracious.
I'm here to say that the Lord is shining through your sweet country heart.
Your wisdom.
Words of advice.
Sweet guidance.
It's good stuff for sure.
GREAT pictures!!!
thank you beyond the world for sharing this!
You all leave the sweetest comments.
Thank you....
It's so great for every reader and my self to see that we all have such passionate feelings about our children.
Life moves so quickly and babies grow and change at lightning speed.
My thoughts and prayers go out to each and everyone of you as you begin a new week and as you strive to the best mama....and in some cases...grandmas that you can be.
Much love from the country.
Kristin
WOW! WOW! WOW! This is so beautiful! My sentiments exactly!
Hi Kristin, Such a lovely post. I always enjoy reading about your family & experiences. Thanks for sharing with us.
Tomorrow, I'm awarding you something special on my blog. Be sure to check it out if interested. :) www.deborahvogts.blogspot.com
Amen. I've never spent more real time with my babies as I have these last six weeks...been a real eye opener. You know I'm not busy outside home, but blogging, laundry, email, picking up (10 times a day) was wearing on us all. It's better here. You'll like it. Your boys will LOVE it!
Got my seeds yesterday, thank you Mam! When do we plant? It's like 65* here, and we've been invaded by mosquitos, and he daffodils are coming up! Craziness.
Love, kathi
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